www.TrueKnights.org Purity News Archive

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Journal entry for the Morning of 6-14-07

Wow, I worked for 12 hours yesterday, skipped going and working out afterwards. Its probably a good thing as I hade to get up about 0900 as my wife had somewhere to go and someone needed to watch the kids. Just sitting here and drinking coffee, the kids are behaving well, just heard the trashman outside and remembered the cart needed to be at the curb and I forgot to do that last night when I came home in the pouring down rain. It wasn't a particularly hard day, I guess their is part of me that finds strength in physical touch. I don't think its lust but their is something about human connection that is comforting. I read something one time ( I will have to look it up) about the reason that some kids have sex at a young age is due to the fact that we no longer have the family bed, they each have their own room and minimal to no physical contact. Their is part of me that would like to have relations with my wife but it is not the driving force, at times their are passing moments that feel more animalistic but I "pray them away" with a prayer for God's will for my wife. Part of me just feels a want for closeness or oneness with her. I do't know if the desire for oneness could be a type of lust in disquise.

Under the Mercy

1 comment:

BobetteBryan said...

Thank you signing my blog today and for your prayers. I'm enjoying reading your blog. It is giving me a lot of perspective on a sexual addiction problem.

I wonder, do you and your wife ever just get in bed and hold each other close (without sex) and concentrate on the joy of being together, the closeness, warmth, and beauty of each other? My husband and I do this frequently. It makes us feel whole in a way that sex can't. We also get in bed, hold each other, and talk about the day or whatever else is on our minds. Things like this are the key to intimate bonding.

We quit doing these types of things for a while and that's where the trouble arose in our marriage. My husband wasn't feeling intimately fulfilled. What's more, we quit sleeping together--another no, no.

Now, we've gone back to sleeping together, snuggling and enjoying just being together and (even though I'm hurt over discovering his porn addiction) things are getting so much better all around for both of us.We just need to get past this hurt and rebuild trust.

I hope things get better for you and your wife. You'll both be in my thoughts and prayers each day.

God bless you,
BrokenHearted