Nobody Knows it But Me

This song really speaks to me, and of course not the way the song was intended. As an addict, Nobody Knows it but Me, the outside not matching the inside. Below are the lyrics, with commentary from me and the actual song below so you can listen to the song if you would like.





Kevin Sharp - Nobody Knows it But Me Lyrics



I pretend that I'm glad you went away
But these four walls close in more everyday
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

The insides of ourselves never matches what we saw on the outsides of others. As an addict at times it feels as if part of you has gone away, either into hiding or that you have gone into hiding.

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me

I want to be the happiest person in the world but I am in so much pain from guilt and shame on the inside. I am never truly happy while I am inside my addiction.

Why didn't I say the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is a-tumblin' down
I can say it clearly but you're no where around

We never really want to share who we are because that would hurt too much, we push people away from us, not on purpose but we don't know how to relate. Our life has to become unmanageable in a way, then we are alone.

The nights are so lonely the days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

Everything always seems in the past, the addict never lives in the present. We are sad and we do want to be better, the problem is that the only way we know to feel better makes it worse. Our drug, lust, is horrid.

How blue can I get you could ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words just couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be loving you still

As an addict its hard to express myself, and I have done so much damage to myself, I know that I am here somewhere and I know what I truly need but I have to get outside of myself and that is very hard to do. Its painful to gut yourself (figuratively) and bring the inside out.

The nights are so lonely the days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

The nights are so lonely
The days are so sad I just keep thinking
About the love that we had
Nobody knows it but me


Life is hard but its harder when you are in your addiction. That is why I choose recovery.

Under the Mercy,
MS
Keep coming back it works if you work it and you are worth it.






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