Sex is for what?

Sex is for fun, right? It is all about the pleasure? Come on, you are married and can have all the fun you want, sex is your benefit and right!!

STOP, that is all wrong.

Let's try this again. Sex is fun. Sex is pleasurable. You are married, you can have sex whenever its agreed to by your spouse and it is a benefit but not of being married. Sex is a benefit of working on a good relationship with her spouse.

Every now and then when I am leaving work about 11 at night the station that I was on has the sex/relationship advice show, Loveline. Every now and then their is a call of a 16-20 yo female calling in and complaining about how she doesn't have an orgasm with intercourse. The host talks about a need for her to be comfortable with the relationship and herself and to just grow up a little.

One thing my wife and I have discovered is that sex isn't all about me or about her. It can be somewhat 'routine' but it isn't mundane. We want to give ourselves to each other because of our relationship. I don't mean just the fact that we are husband and wife but because we do things together and for each other throughout the day and appreciate what the other does.

Sex becomes the fruit of the work that we do in marriage, an extension of the expression of our love. It isn't how crazy can we get, how can I satisfy myself, or we need a new toy so we can take this to the new level. It simply becomes about a connection with each other that is fulfilling with each other.

I often joke with my wife about the fact that during sex I know the combination to her safe, yes, it may be routine but it is routinely satisfying. The reason, we love each other and Sex is the fruit of the relationship and not the basis of the relationship.

God grant me the serenity,

MS