Journal 20070913

I just don't know how to really deal with resentment, its hard because its an engrained pattern in my way of being. I get frustrated and resent a situation or person, dwelling on a real or imagined wrong, I live in it and make it the focus of my mind. What is it going to take to overcome this. I am fightingalmost 30 years of living and behaving this way. So, I surrender, I make amends and amend my life to do better, it is still hard because I fall down again.

Resentment is the basis of my addiction, I acted out to get away from the resentment, the physical high is unreal and it cemented the pattern in my being, I can deal with lust, but it makes the resentment bubble to the surface and I have to deal with it.

Under the Mercy,
MS

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